Translation Experiment

I decided to make this post an experiment. I wrote a regular blog rant and then proceeded to use various online translators to see what would happen. This is what happened to the post.

English to Spanish (Babel Fish)
Spanish to English (Dictionary.com)
English to Japanese (Wordlingo)
Japanese to English (Free Translation)
English to Japanese (Google Translate)
Japanese to English (Bable Fish)
English to Dutch (Dictionary.com)
Dutch to English (Free Translation)

This is the final product.

"The subject is not" as for me flaw at the father that, that that unnecessary is, uselessness that, very small small sock/is the baby always invents. When she thinks, begins that/, /with in the meaning that you at that say. It is the small sock between which for a time, enthousiastic/the babies the hot feet that at that very small maintenance useful are you small very small at the temperature control of your own body be. Thought that it done became well round, is permitted, now beginning our production! Only as for truth, is /there no problem in becomes limits, comes valuable be of/that bean. /Always the baby trembles. You can the small foot install, throw you with outside as that centers, /after the frog. He with its own foot, at that foot the throwing outside to connect. "There are is done is no subject" with what country house center. If the meat processes it, this, sufficient time/the work short term, the sock slow method is. The baby of the foot again, when on round it just which moments the doing of that, /is the return with nude. That with simple thing, with passing play the foot that the pajamas equipped was geassembleerd in the middle of on the thing that immediately essentially are taken up. That the 5 minutes makes, has have been exchanged it the sock when needlessly the. Because of newly me feature on

Can you guess what the original post was about? I'll post the original English text in a few days.

Dan

Rootin' Tootin' Substitutin'

I finally graduated from college in December. Probably the best thing about it is that I don't have any homework. When i get home, I'm free to live my life and do things that really need to be done, like spending time with my girls or watching Star Trek: Voyager. Anyway, a byproduct of all this is that I have to get a real job. Since I finally realized that I want to be a teacher, but I have no teaching license or money to go back to school and get one, I decided to become a substitute teacher.

Now you probably all remember the days when you knew you could goof off and get away with more because your regular teacher was gone. Well, those days haven't changed. Kids still do it. But I still enjoy it. Though I'll admit, it's kind of scary going into a classroom and having no idea what you're up against. Each class has it's own personality and some of them aren't that easy to get along with, but for the most part, kids are good.

I only substitute for Junior High and High Schools though. I know I wouldn't be able to handle the really little kids. Junior High kids are young enough and they act younger than they look. I've been lucky enough to get most of my jobs in the high school nearest my home and in subjects that I know something about Math and Science. But besides those, I've also had the opportunity to substitute for classes in Photography, English, Distance Learning, Computers, and -get this- Girls PE. That one was thrust upon me like an apple pie on Tuesday... or something like that. Anyway, I've also got a job lined up to sub in a Spanish class a couple of weeks from now. I'm really looking forward to that one.

Surprisingly, the classes I've enjoyed the most are the Math classes. I haven't really enjoyed Math since 7th grade but I've taken a bunch of Math since then and amazingly I can remember a lot of it, or at least re-learn it fast enough to help the kids. The best part about it is that the kids actually like me because for once they have a substitute who can help them with their Math. I guess struggling through years of Math has been beneficial because I can relate to these kids who are going through much the same stuff that I did.

Open up your head hole Slappy, and listen while I testify,

Dan

Improv Everywhere

Improv Everywhere is an amazing comedy troupe in New York City. I just found them the other day through a link at a webcomic I read. The videos and Agent Reports keep me laughing pretty much constantly. If you decide to visit, know that it takes some time, but it is well worth the entertainment.
I wish there was something like this here. If there was, I would totally participate.

Cheerios, the Crunch, and the Crunch Town Flakies,

Dan

Things I couldn't say

This is the post where I get to say all of the things I couldn't say for one reason or another. Here goes:

***Removed because it should be. Sorry if I offended you.***

I think that about covers it for now.

Come on Eileen tu lu ra yay,

Dan

One Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song

This is for everyone who's ever taken a Spanish class in a predominantly English environment.


Eleven = Once,

Dan

Gorilla Hero

I read a lot of webcomics to make my day at school a little brighter. Let me rephrase, I read too many webcomics to make my day at school brighter. But anyway, I found this little gem in the author's message attached to a comic strip. The author/artist of the comic is the one on the left. If you like Guitar Hero and/or Freezepop, you'll enjoy this. Let me rephrase, you'll enjoy this.



I don't know why, but watching people in gorilla suits is really funny to me. If you look for it, Harry Nilsson also did a music video a really long time ago with people in gorilla suits. If whoever invented the gorilla suit ran for president, he/she would have my vote.

You put the lime in the coconut,

Dan

Rube Goldberg

I know I've just been embedding video into my posts lately. But I told you I'd be posting stuff about my new favorite things. Since I've been wasting a lot of my free time by watching stuff on YouTube and Google Video, my new favorite things come from there. I've only got one or two more videos that I want to showcase, and then I'll talk about different things.

I'm not sure exactly how I found this one, but I love it. I have no idea what they're saying, but I don't care. The sophisticated contraptions they make just mesmerize me. Plus, I think the music is great, perfect for the video.



Ita cora sui chi?

Dan

P.S. Thanks to my oldest sister's blog, I found out what they're saying. It's "Pitagora Suicchi". Translated into English, it means Pythagoras Switch. Now go here. You won't regret it.

Tetris

Twenty two years ago something was created in Russia that has changed the world. Alexey Pajitnov (probably through divine inspiration) invented Tetris, the puzzle game that everyone loves. Like other classic video games, Tetris has infiltrated modern pop culture. We've got Tetris Halloween costumes and Tetris techno music but the thing that takes the cake is Human Tetris. Somebody in Japan is a genius.



I think it's high time we got this going in the US.

Cherish is the word I use to describe you,

Dan

It's bad to laugh when other people get hurt. But it's really hard not to.

I never get tired of this video.

Long Time Gone

I know it's been a super long time since I've posted and I feel bad. It's not like anybody reads my blog anyway. I just thought I'd start to post stuff about my new favorite things. Here's the first.

I think almost everybody remembers playing with a Lite-Brite when they were a kid. It was so much fun making things and then lighting them up in a dark room. Anyway, somebody did some stop motion animation using a Lite-Brite. My brother-in-law showed me this one. I like some techno music so I don't agree with the chorus of this song, but I love the music and the video. Check it out.

Hooray for Chemistry!

Not ten minutes ago, I was sitting in my Chemistry class waiting for it to start. The professor, Dr. Brown, hadn't shown up yet and people were talking. A lady came in and shushed everyone. Amazingly, all immediately went quiet. She announced "Dr. Brown has been detained. As a result, class has been cancelled." Almost before she finished, a loud cheer went out, people stood up, people raised their arms in the air in acts of praise, people clapped. "Yay!"
All I could do was laugh because I expected more a more restrained exuberance. It made me feel a lot better that I'm not alone in my dislike of that class.

Three cheers for Dr. Brown,

Dan

"Is it Bernard?"

Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? Maybe it happens to other people more often, but it's never happened to me before, until yesterday.
So I was walking from my Folklore class to my Chemistry class and as I rounded a corner, this guy looks at me, stops, and says "Is it Bernard?" Realizing that he's talking to me, I stop and look at him. Then he repeats the question "Is it Bernard?" I give him a confused look wondering what he's talking about when I realize he's asking if I'm Bernard. I slowly say "No, it's Dan." But he just keeps on looking at me like he's still half-expecting to have a conversation with me as I turn and walk away.
I thought to myself, why would he think I looked like Bernard? Was I making some sort of strange expression with my face? Did my hair look like Bernards from being mashed down by my beanie? Was it the fact that I hadn't shaved for 4 days? Was it the way members of some secret organization identify each other? Or do I just amazingly resemble Bernard? I began to wonder myself if it wasn't really Bernard after all, but as I rounded the next corner, I recieved a friendly slap on the shoulder from a mission buddy who let me know that I really am who I think I am and not Bernard.

Bernardly,

Dan

P.S. I thought of some other closing lines like 'Bernarderiffic', 'Bernardtastic', 'Bernardfully', and 'With warm Bernards'.

New Direction

Since my Geology 230 class is over and I've secured a grade I like, there won't be anymore assigned topics or questions given to me.

So, I've decided that this blog will take things in a new direction. I'll periodically be posting interesting or funny things or maybe just some random babblings or whatever happens to pop into my head at the time.
So things will be going in a new direction, one which looks pretty much exactly like the old direction.

Burninating the countryside,

Dan

Time Waster

I have an excuse for the extended hiatus. I've been extremely lazy when I haven't been extremely busy. So as promised, I will reveal the "most random thing [I was] doing during class time instead of listening to [Kirsten's] lesson." Now that grades for last semester have been submitted, I can reveal that without risking a hit to my GPA. (Even though I know that Kirsten doesn't always pay attention in her classes either.)

A long time devotee of video games, I delight in the subtle tricks and strategies which when employed will allow me to gain an advantage over my opponent’s intelligence both artificial and human. Some time last semester, my brother-in-law introduced me to an online video game that promises both fast gameplay and maximum fun. I introduce you to Chaos Faction! I must confess that I spent at least part of one class period playing this little delight. If you chose to follow the link and sacrifice some time, you'll understand what I'm talking about. My favorite character to be is Merilli. He's got Gorilli's body and hands with Mechalo's eyes, and Cowboy's feet. I have the best mojo with him.

I know that playing video games during class isn't really a "random" thing to do, but by far this was the most interesting and entertaining thing I did during class ... besides participate and learn of course.

Can't kick the habit,

Dan

Pencil

I have to preface this post with a comment about my writing utensils. I usually find pens and pencils around the house, under the seats of the car, abandoned on desks at school, and places like that. So the quality of my writing utensil is always a little questionable.

A few weeks ago, I was taking Hydrogeology test. I was a little nervous, because that's the class that I seem to have left by the wayside this semester. But I was confident in the quality of my mechanical pencil which had served me without fail for at least a week. Since the quality of your writing utensil can spell the success or doom of your testing endeavors, I felt pretty good about things.

As I pulled my pencil out of my pocket my eyes widened because I noticed that the plastic tip had bent over to one side. I bent it back foolishly thinking it would right itself, but the entire tip broke off in my hand. D'oh! I quickly assured myself there was nothing to worry about, I would just write with the lead sticking out of the pencil, it still pumped and worked otherwise, no worries.

Well, I don't know if you've ever tried to write with a mechanical pencil with an inch and a half of the lead sticking out the end. It tends to break with the slightest bit of pressure. After four or five times of this, I almost panicked. The test had already started and all I could hear was the scratching of pencils on dry paper and labored breathing (probably mine). I didn't want to disturb anyone to borrow a pencil, and I knew I couldn't use a pen because of the math involved and I knew I'd make a mistake that I'd need to correct.

I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. With bitter resolve I told myself that no blasted writing utensil would get in the way of my success. So with my options severely limited, I bravely pinched a short piece of mechanical pencil lead between my index finger and thumb and rocked that test.

For good or for awesome,

Dan

Christmas Traditions

Lucky me! I get to chose between two blog topics. Family Christmas traditions or "What was the most random thing you were doing during class time instead of listening to [Kirsten's] lesson?" I think I'll hold off on that second one until after grades are submitted. :->

When I was a kid, we always woke up early to look at our presents and stuff. As a rule, we could rummage through our stockings and open our "Santa" present. The Santa present usually wasn't fully wrapped either. Maybe just a bow and tag or something simple. We always ate coffee cake (sans coffee of course) for breakfast and had to wait for the whole family to gather in order to open our presents. Boy was it an ordeal. There was no wild ravaging of wrapping paper or anything. We each waited and watched and commented as each person opened one present from oldest to youngest. We went round and round until there were no presents left. But I enjoyed and savored every minute of it.

One tradition that I'm sad I can't follow every year any more is going to the beach every Christmas day. I grew up in Puerto Rico and beaches were plentiful and beautiful even in December. That's probably the thing I miss the most about living there, beaches.

In our stockings, we would always get a new toothbrush and a LifeSavers storybook. In the days and weeks preceeding Christmas, my Mom would cook Party Press Cookies and Chex Party Mix. I'm sure she cooked other yummies, but I can't think of what they were just now. One treat I had as a missionary was that my Mom would send me some of this stuff. Boy was I in heaven.

We would also often go caroling, but caroling in Puerto Rico is a little different. It's called a parranda and it's more of a party. You go over someone's house, sing to them, invite yourself in, and eat all their Christmas type food. Then you take the people from that house, visit someone else and repeat the process. The carols aren't really what most people think of as carols either. They've generally got much more beat and rythym than traditional carols. We usually just sang and brought our own treats to share, making it a combination of the two caroloing breeds.

My Puerto Rican Grandmother would always cook a heavenly meal and we'd eat it in the late afternoon. She'd prepare arroz con gandules (rice and pigeon peas), lechon or pernil (roast pork), pasteles (Puerto Rican version of tamales), and a garden salad. My mom would always furnish the flan. Man, I haven't had a better flan anywhere. Everytime I eat a flan (even a not so good one) I'm transported back to my Grandmother's kitchen (even though my Mom was the one who cooked it) because we always had it there on Christmas.

My wife and I are about to celebrate our second Christmas together (the first with any kids). So we're trying to figure out what our own traditions are going to be. We don't have much, but we've decided we're gonna open up one present each on Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to that one. I don't know if this is gonna be permanent, but we each have our own wishlists on Amazon and we've secretly bought stuff for each other from our wishlists.

I'm excited that Christmas is coming so close. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

Freedom has a scent like a newborn baby's head,

Dan

Least Favorite Non-Geology Class

The least favorite class I've taken at BYU is a topic of current debate. I didn't enjoy Physics 121 or Computer Science 142. Zoology 101 and 102 are vague memories because I've mostly blocked them out. Spanish 321 was a pain because of the teacher. PE 191 (Weight Training) was enjoyable, but the grading policy was entirely arbitrary and unfair. It was more like living as a peasant under the feudal system than attending a college PE class.

But all of those were pieces of cake when it comes to the BYU Math Department. Living as a peasant under the feudalism is like a vacation in Disneyland compared to math classes at BYU. I'm not the only one who feels this way either. Yes, there are people like my former roommate, Keith who like the Math Department, but they are the ones who got 5's on their AP Calculus BC exams and didn't have to take any 100 level class at BYU. The rest will chime in with me complaining about the ineffectiveness of having graduate students who have no training in actual teaching at the front of a class everyday and a book that was written without effective communication in mind by the head of the very same department.

I can't decide which is worse the first time I took Calculus 1, the second time I took Calculus 1, or the time I took Calculus 2. I don't think that I can accurately answer this question because I still have to take Calculus 2 again in an attempt to get better than a D+ to be able to graduate. So this next time might be the worse. I'll have to keep ya'll posted. (Sounds like an empty promise to me.) Sorry for the bitter tone of this post, it's a touchy subject with me and I've got a lot to do this week.

You can dress up like a sultan in your onion-head hat,

Dan

The trouble these days

When I was a kid, I can honestly say I can hardly remember actually getting in trouble. I do remember quite distincly being sent to my room when I was smaller, but that ended as I got older. I'm just gonna claim right now (and who's gonna dispute me?) that I didn't get into trouble. Mainly because I just covered up and hid anything I'd done. So nobody was the wiser. Sorry Mom and Pop for the years of deception. :->

This brings up a new point. One which I've either forgotten or never had in the first place. Sorry to everyone else for that little deception.

So you'll be an Austrian nobleman,

Dan

All I want for Christmas

I think for Christmas I would enjoy any of the vehicles featured in my previous post. Since that's probably not gonna happen, I'll drop my request to a new computer. Or maybe just a new mother board and DVD burner.

I also think I'd enjoy a Nintendo Wii. Or maybe I'd settle for a 2 Gig jump drive. Here's something I never thought I'd like for Christmas: clothes. Mine are getting a little ratty and worn out. I guess that's what happens when you work with rock dust and chemical fumes everywhere.

But all that other stuff is probably just a trip. Something I have a strong suspicion I'll be getting from a reliable source is Mario Kart for N64. Faith and I will have a lot of fun with that.

Birds fall from the window ledge above mine,

Dan

Vehicle

If money wasn't an obstacle, what vehicle would I have?

I don't know much about cars or anything, so I had to do several Google searches as research in order to be able to answer this blog question fully.

This little number is quite the eye-catcher.
But it probably isn't making good use of my unlimited funds. So I found this one.

Yes, it looks good, but look what it can do.

But let's be realistic, how often am I going to want to cross a body of water. How about something more useful.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

I get the feeling it was different here before we came along,

Dan